Funny quotes:
I wouldn't say i was "Special", I prefer to think of myself as a limited edition.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
Edward isn't a vampire. He lives in a forest, he doesnt eat people and he sparkles. He's obviously a fairy
It doesnt matter if you win or lose. All that matters is what you do with your dancin shoes!
Men are rats. Listen to me, they're fleas on rats. Worst that that, they're Amoebas on fleas on rats. I mean, they're too low for even the dog to bite. The only men a girl can depend on is a daddy
there's only 2 people in this world. . .There's women & then there's men
Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.”-Julie Andrews!
What is it called when you're hungry but dont want to eat? its called HUMANS!!!
"Welcome to Hollister. Here's your gas mast & your flashlight"
I wonder if insanity runs in my family
If you put a smile on your kisser, maybe someone will put a kiss on your smiler!
The worst time to have a heart attack is when playing a game of charades
Understanding the teenage male is like trying to find a snowball in a volcano
You're just jealous because I get to spend more time with me than you do ;)
I am so talented I can fall up the stairs, trip on flat surfaces, and get hit by a parked car. Aren't I just amazing? :)
I am perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, sure of my insecurities, absolute chaos..a beautiful disaster
Thought of the day: If heat makes things expand...I don't have a weight problem...I'm just HOT :D
Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly
I will never be perfect, but I will always be unique :)
I would like to challenge 1 million people on Facebook to send me $1 this month!
some people say I've lost my mind but the truth is i haven't lost it i know where it is i just refuse to use it.
At exactly 06 minutes and 07 seconds after 5 o'clock on August 9th of this year it will be 05:06:07 08/09/10 ~ This will not happen again until the year 3010...
My 2 rules; 1) I'm Always right 2) If I'm wrong refer back to rule 1
speechless. I know . strange
I can't decide which to use today, My angel wings or my broom. If I use my wings I have to be really nice all day. So I guess it's the broom :)
Of course I'm an angel. Ignore the horns, they're just there to hold up my halo.
Does starbucks deliver??
oh come on...not everyone can be the PRINCESS... you just have to sit on the sidewalk and wave @ me as I go by!!
Remember when Ronald Reagan was president? We also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash still with us.Now we have Obama and no hope and no cash.
Wants to know why everyone wants to be like me? Am I just that awesome that everyone tries to copy my awesomeness? It must suck being that jealous!
I have ADOS. . . Attention Deficient Ooooh Shiny! lol
I'm always right, I'm never wrong, i thought i was wrong once but i was wrong
Hmmmmm... 1 out of every 4 people have a mental illness. And 3 of my friends are okay... Oh crap.
I'm going to shine up my tiara cuz that's what princesses do
I have been informed that it is official... I have ADOLAS... attention defici... OH LOOK A SQUIRREL! lolz
I'm glad I learned to hula hoop...My halo keeps falling down :)
Edward Cullen is a Peter Pan wannabe. They both climb through windows too watch a girl sleep that grows older while neither of them age. How original Edward.
Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great. Now, I know this may be too much for you, so here is a shortcut. Just think about me!! :D
Hi, Can I help you?" "No, I just waited in line for 15 minutes to say hi."
no! I DID NOT TRIP! The floor just looked like it REALLY needed a hug(:
how ironic would it be if someone choked on a life savor?
friends will be there to get you when rolling down a hill, but a best friend will stop you, pull you up, then push you down again and watch you roll
Dear World: I am awesome. In case you forgot. :)
Aren't i just a ray of flipping sunshine?
Dear Santa, all i want this Christmas is a hot boy under my tree.
I'm planning on taking over the world with an army of squirrels and a spoon. Wanna Help?
2 old ladies sitting in church 1 leans over and whispers to the other "my butt is going to sleep" the other replies "I know I have heard it snore 3 times"
Commas can save lives, for example: "Let's eat Grandpa." "Lets eat, Grandpa."
roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are yu... the roses are dying the violets are dead, the sugar bowls empty and so is ur head
Paper cuts are a tree's way of getting revenge.
I'm not clumsy, I'm just uniquely coordinated
A good way to find out if your friends are idiots. text them to call your phone because you lost it and see what happens...
I thinks mother nature is bipolar & she's off her MEDS !!!
On a scale of 0 to Crazy,I am a Penguin
If you can shoot deer during deer season and duck during duck season I have a quick question about tourist season.
i DID NOT lose it! i just can't find it...
I'm talking to myself because I like talking to smart people.
~~ When life gets you down, know what you gotta do??? Just keep swimming!! Just keep swimming!!!
The cops came too my house and said that my dog bit some guy on a bike I said they were lying because my dog doesn't have a bike!!
A boy watches his parents having sex and asks, "What are you doing?" Dad says "Making you a brother or sister!" Boy says, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy."
I'm listening, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah
WOW!!! I can't believe my luck! I am so fortunate to be sitting here next to Captain Obvious, Protector of the planet DUH
I knows that money won't make Me happy. But money can buy chocolate and that makes Me happy.
I'm running away to live in a pineapple under the sea!
A few days ago i heard that MySpace, Facebook, You-Tube and twitter were going to become one big website!! called MyFaceYouTwit.com !!
Does being fluent in Sarcasm count as a second language?
I wonder why you can't have your cake and eat it too. Whats the point in having the cake if you can't eat it?
whoever said anything was possible, obviously never tried slamming a revolving door! DUH!
I hate it when random thoughts pop into my head and when i try and explain it out loud no matter what i
say it makes no sense outside of my head!
I have finally been diagnosed.... yep she is awesome
who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary~
I Just died from not passing on chain mail!
does not have mood swings... she has shifts in emotional altitude
If cats always land on their feet and buttered toast always lands butter-side down what happens if you tie a piece of buttered toast to a cats back and drop it?
i cant do the dishes my hands will drown!!
I've actually just walked into automatic sliding doors! Now that takes TALENT!! Lol
LOST: my mind. It seems to have run away screaming into the night and has not returned since. if found please contact me immediately... Thank you
I wonder if people who think the world will end in 2012 giggle to themselves when they buy something with no payments until 2013?
I'm secretly a platypus called Marvin
Yes, god did create man first, but everyone has to have a rough draft!
I won't think about guys. i wont think about guys i wont think about guys...WOAH HE IS A HOTTIE!!
SMILE--its the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Life, liberty and the pursuit of all who treaten it
I wonder what would happen if you put Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Harry Potter and Ron Weasly in the same room???
okay, wait for it! You Ready For This? Are You Completely Absolutely Positutely Ready For This? You Sure? Okay! DRUM ROLL PLEASE! -trumpet sounds- i forgot
arms are for hugging, boys are for kissing, sluts are for dissing and best friend are for when the boy is kissing the slut and all u need is a hug <3
Before u criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes
Oompa loompa doompity do i have another puzzle for you..oompa loompa doompity do..good luck getting that outta your head xD
is playing an intense game of Hide-and-Seek with her homework...If you see it, PLEASE don't tell me!!
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.
have you ever just wanted to run up to a stranger and say "your it" and run away? i have!
I specialize in tripping over my own feet, falling out of chairs, and running into things. What's your talent???
If we can put a man on the moon, why can t we put most of them there?
I'm not stalking you, by the way your new furniture looks GREAT from the front yard! :)
2 blondes where goin to disneyland when they came to a sign that said, disneyland left. so they turned round and went home.
siht gindear er'ouy fi toidi na er'ouY [(now read it backwards))
if " i am with stupid", they cant be that bad, cause they're with me and i am awesome!
I'm not addicted to Facebook. I only goes on it on days ending in the letter 'y'
stop everything your doing and think about me for 3 seconds... 1 - 2 - 3 ...you're welcome for the best 3 seconds of your day!
...I can't even hear myself think over the sound of my own awesomeness sometimes.
I'm a gummy bear, Yes I'm a gummy bear. Oh I'm a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear. I'm a jelly bear. Cause I'm a gummy bear =) Ooh yeah.
I love you more than spongebob loves Jellyfishing, Sandy loves Karate, Mr. Krab loves money & Squidward loves his clarinet, Baby, i need you more than Plankton needs the Kraby patty formula
